I think we should have a National First Mom Coming Out Day. All this hiding, lying, covering up is damaging everyone. It has left us, as first mothers, ashamed, grief stricken, defensive and damaged. It is unfair to our relinquished children. In some cases we have rejected them to protect ourselves. It must feel like we are throwing them under the bus again and again, for what?
What are we so afraid of? We've already lost the most important, most painful part of us, our children. Are we afraid of the judgement of others? The rejection of others? That we'll lose the love and respect of our friends? Family? My friends know all about my son and do their best to understand my loss. Although through this process they have been concerned about my emotional health, and have asked some very difficult questions, they have never once turned their back on me. Those are true friends. The people in my life that may not be able to handle my truth around all of this, are not people that should be in my life in the first place.
From now on, when people ask me how many children I have, I will answer three, a son who is 32, a step daughter who is 27 and a daughter who is 15. That is my truth, and I will hide from it no longer. I will find the courage to tell my family how the "shame" of this has made me feel over the last 32 years, and the moment I get his permission, I will post all over the world a picture of my son and proudly proclaim him as part of me. Any one care to join me?